The scariest thing about people is their ability to pretend. They pretend to like you, they pretend to care, and they can even pretend to be okay. You can be standing next to the “happiest” person on this planet but deep down, they can be the one that is hurting the most. We suffer in silence for fear of rejection, judgement, not fitting in. We keep our mouths closed because its easier than to have to explain what is going on in your head. We keep our eyes dry around others to avoid the looks of pity or confusion. We keep our mind blank in order to be able to get through the day.
After all, everyone has problems, what makes yours so important.
Truth is, we aren’t okay. We pretend, we smile, we laugh, we act like everything is fine. It is easier to be normal than to be who you really are. They tell you its okay to open up, its okay to let people in. But what they don’t realize is that I don’t want too. I don’t want people to understand what is going on in my head. I don’t want people to feel the emotions that I hide on a daily basis. As soon as I let someone in, it automatically differs my problems on them. I lived with someone elses problems for years, I refuse to put anyone else in that position. Even if I did open up or let someone in to how im feeling and what my mind is saying, how do I even know that they will believe me? Anxiety and depression are mental illnesses. Most people don’t even believe in either of them. You cant make people understand what is going on in your head. How are they supposed to understand it when I CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND IT?
We’ve been taught since we were little that pretending to be someone you are not is unacceptable. But what happens when the person you actually are is really the unacceptable one?